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I gave it my best shot, unfortunately not to hot!

Deep in the slade
Near to the Tavern
Surrounded in darkness
A Schede dotted with blood
Lay a young maiden
Next to her man
Muttering words
That drifted in to the night
No reason to die
For the pride of the hord
The glutton of man
To be abhorred
For this maidens wounded heart
For the beloved she adored

[1] Was your last kiss drunk, high, or sober?
sober

[2] Do you put ketchup on top of your French fries or on the side?
Don’t have ketchup, but I do put mayonnaise all over.

[3] Do you talk to your most recent ex?
Not recently

[4] Whom did you last talk to on the phone for over 15 minutes?
My hubby’s motorbike insurance company, when I renewed it.

[5] Where will you be in an hour?
I don’t know, but where ever it is, I will be there.

[6] What are you drinking right now?
Tea !!!

[7] Do you lead people on a lot?
No, I don‘t think I do, but I do to my hubby sometimes.

[8] Are you friends with your best friend's boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yeh, that would be me.

[9] Are looks important?
When your beautiful inside, it glows on the outside too.

[10] Are you mad at someone right now?
No, I’m happy, happy, happy!

[11] Which is better: sunrise or sunset?
They are both awesome!

[12] Is there anyone you would die for?
If circumstances wished it so, so be it.

15] Are you scared of spiders?
No, their my mates.

[16] What do you think of McLovin?
What is McLovin?

[17] Ever talked to someone that was high?
Oh yes!

[18] Last comment you left someone?
I think that would be my dear friend Phil

[19] Do you have a Facebook?
My son made me do it. I haven’t got a clue why he thought it would be a good idea, but you never know. I never use it though.
[20] Do you own a skirt?
Yeeesssss!

[21] Are you currently frustrated with a boy or girl?
No

[22] Are you excited for summer?
Oh my yes! Summer loving, sultry evenings, summer breezes, butterfly’s and bumble bees.

[23] If it was free and it would work perfectly, would you get plastic surgery?
I don’t think so, but if it was necessary, (i.e, was in a accident), then most probably. But, experience has taught me to never say never.

[24] Have you ever slapped someone across his/her face?
No.
[25] What did you do last night?
Read my book  to my hubby.

26] What is the closest thing to you that is blue?
A pencil

[28] Does it snow where you live?
Yes.


[29] Who is the last person you kissed?
Hubby this morning when he went to work.

[30] Would you go out in public without getting dressed up or put together?
I do it all the time, and all the people run away screaming in horror!

[31] Have you kissed or hugged someone today?
Yes my hubby. And a virtual hug for Phil. And a real big squeezer one from Lizziedrip.

[32] Are you a dumb blonde?
I have my moments, the rest of the time I am a dizzy Redhead (according to others)

[33] Do people underestimate your intelligence?
People take me as they find me.

[34] Will you be married in the next two years?
I have been married since the day ‘I’ was born, to Life. So yes!

[35] Would you rather have love or money?
LOVE! 100% CERTAIN ON THAT! TAKE THAT TO THE  BANK INVEST IT AND GROW!

[36] Have you ever sat on a roof top?
Yes, in France, it was really, really high, but I can not remember what the building was called.

[37] Do you know how to play poker?
I don’t think so.?

[38] Any plans for the weekend?
Nope,  the others do that for me.

[39] What time do you get up in the morning?
Depends, on what time my son has to be at a job, any time between 5 and 7 am.

[40] Do you eat ranch with your pizza?
What is ranch?

[41] Last person you IMed?
Sorry don’t know what Imed is either.?

[43] What's your favorite season?
All of them have their beauty, but I think Summer for it’s warmth and romance for me.

[44] What color are your bedroom walls?
Pink flowers green leaves, beige background.

[46] Last person to text you?
Lizziedrip!

[47] Have you ever thought you liked someone then found out that you didn't?
Kind of, but not really. I liked them,  just not what they did with their fists. It hurt.

[48] How was last weekend?
Raining outside, inside curled up lost in a good book.

[49] Who are you with right now?
Lizzie and Chilli are on my bed, Scooby is laying beside me.

[50] Have you ever wanted someone you thought that you couldn't have?
My cat, but I got her in the end. My hubby said No way, but then my second eldest son brought her home as a surprise.

Why does my internet keep timing out?

Can you all kindly send the net some positive vibes and make it all healthy and happy again, that should do it.

Annnnd, where has my Inhale Love, Exhale Peace, fridge Magnet gone?. I stuck it on the T.V, with blutac, in my bedroom anndd it has disappeared, gone, puff vanished, just like that!

Annnnnd, did you know, that every night I also lose my mind?  Well when i am in a deep dreamless sleep, my mind is no more! Isn't that amazing annd funny!

Annnnnd, guess what!, every night I actually look forward to losing my mind That is so crazy, but true.

Annnnnnnnnnnd I haven't lost the plot, as i never had one to start with, soooo, how can I lose what  I never had? See, it is all Plot-Less!

Annnnd, I am having random, happy moments. Embrace andd-ddd share, tis only faire, after all why keep to myself, when i can spread a wee piece of happy, annd-ddd mad-moment-ness to someone else!

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, Love and kisses.

This is an actual job application from a 17 year old boy to McDonalds, and he got the job for being so honest and funny.



Name: *******

Sex: Not yet I'm saving myself for the right person.

Desired position: Company's President/Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock option and should it not work out - a Michael Ovitz style severance package. Seriously, make an offer and we can haggle.

Education: Yes

Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.

Salary: Less than I am worth.

Most notable achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it pads.

Reason for leaving: It sucked.

Hours available to work: Any.

Preferred hours: 1.30 - 3.30pm (with 1/2 hour lunch break). Monday ,
Tuesday & Thursday only.

Do you have any special skills? Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment.

May we contact your current employer - If I had one, would I be here?

Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 lbs? Of what?

Do you have a car - I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

Have you received any special awards or recognition? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstake.

Do you smoke? On the job - no, during breaks yes.

What would you like to be doing in five years? - Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy sexy super model blonde, who thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread. - There again I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? - Yes, Absolutely.

Sign Here: Aries.

Tags: Funny Jobs Honest

We ( my family and I) were discussing, that if we were to come back, in another life as an animal which one would we be.

You could not choose what animal you would want to be, you had to come back as an animal that represents your character now.

Sooo, Hubby said to me  “You would come back as a Bunny, as you are a happy little carefree animal”. I was like “awwweally”, ( bearing in mind he does not usually pay these sort of compliments). So anyway, he then says “yeah, you’re a happy, easy going  FUDGED MINDED Bunny!”


What! FUDGED MINDED! FUDGE MINDED INDEED!!  Cheek!




So, which animal, would you come back as, that  best represents your character now?

I watched this,and this man is so funny!!!!!!

 

 

1) Do you like blue cheese?
It smells of smelly feet!

2) Have you ever smoked heroin?
Nope why would I smoke a big bird.


3) Do you own guns?
Water Pistols in the garden


4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic?
??Orange I guess.
5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments
Do I get nervous before seeing a doctor? Nah! I do with the dentist though.


6) What do you think of hot dogs?
I nay eat meat.

7) Favorite Christmas song?
All I want for Christmas is you.

8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Tea with milk.


9) Can you do push ups?
Yes, one.!

10) Can you do a chin up?
Tried it and cant do it.

11) What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
Gosh, I have loads of bits that I love, um maybe the love pendant my son brought me at Xmas.



12) Favorite hobbie?
Breathing, Just lately this place, drawing and reading.


13) Ever been in a car wreck?
Been in a car accident not a wreck thank goodness!

14) Do you have A.D.D.
 I have A  Dappy Dog! Yes!


15) What IS one trait that you hate about yourself?
I don’t hate anything!

16) Middle name?
Its what you find on top of  a house!

17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
I hope the dinner does not burn
I think I might have to get a new dishwasher
I wonder how Jamie is doing.

18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
I did not buy anything yesterday

19) Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Tea
Tea
Wine



20) Current worry?
I don’t think I have one, except the dishwasher is probably broken.



21) Current hate right now?
Love is so fulfilling!


24) Where would you like to go?
India, Ireland, Canada, Australia, America, Africa, Okay, The World!



25) Name three people who will complete this?
Haven’t got a Scooby Doo! (clue) ???


26) Do you own slippers?
Yes, white fluffy ones



27) What shirt are you wearing?
Black kind of vest/cami top

28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
nope

29) Can you whistle?
Yes!


30) Favorite color?



31) Would you be a pirate?
I was one this New Years Eve


32) What songs do you sing in the shower?
I sing in the bath, which ever one is on my mind, the usual is “I’m having a baby” and “I believe in miracles, where you from you sexy thing” and Scooby doopy doo I love you you’re my fav doggie doo” my made up version.!

33) Favorite girl’s name?
Elizabeth.

34) Favorite boy’s name?
Jamie.

35) Whats in your pocket?
No pockets today!

36) Last thing that made you laugh?
My hubby pretending that a pickled onion had killed him.

37) Best bed sheets as a child?
Fairy flowered type of one.




38) Worst injury you've ever had?
Broke my toe hurdling

39) Do you love where you live?
Oh Yes!

40) How many TVs do you have in your house?
5

41) Who is your loudest friend?
My Kids, mad crazy loveable bunch!

42) How many dogs do you have?
One SCOOOOOBY!


43) Does someone have a crush on you?
Scooby, she adores me, follows me everywhere, I wake up with her staring at me!


44)What kind of car do you drive?
Vauxhall Astra


45) What is your favorite book?
Ramana Maharshi


46) What is your favorite candy?
Chocolate


47) Favorite Sports Team?
Bubble Gum Bunnies.  Running for “Race for life”


48) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Don’t worry be Happy, Sounds of Silence, Love is my Religion.

49) What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Sleeping


50) What was the first thing you thought of this morning when you woke up?
I don’t want to get up!

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