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"ugly" is ugly
Posted On 04/01/2009 15:40:25 by Raqueluchi

I simply need a small space to vent some ire I have inside, and as this is a kind of "home from home" for me, here is where I shall vent....

I was out having a few drinks with some friends on Friday night for my birthday, some girlfriends and me for my birthday.  We're all very different, different backgrounds etc. but we all get on pretty well.  One of my friends made a comment about a guy in the bar saying how ugly he was.  And I simply jumped straight down her throat.

I didn't know the guy, have never seen him before in my life, but who is she to say that he's ugly?  It just struck me as such a cruel, nasty, simple thing to say about another human being that I just couldn't let it lie.  And we had an arguement about it.  Her argument was "well it's a fact, he IS ugly", as if that makes it all alright.  We all know that ugly is objective...as is handsome. 

My Granny was a wise old owl (well, not literally, but you know what I mean) and one thing she always said to me was not to use the word "ugly" to describe people.  Another thing was never to use the word "hate" in reference to other people.  When I came home from school saying "I hate Harriet Jeffries", I was met with, "no, you don't hate her, you just don't like her very much".  Another of her gems was, "if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all" and this has stuck.

Now, I'm no angel, but the older I get, the more this rings home to me.  Yeah, I might well think someone is no looker, but what purpose does it serve to open my mouth and say how ugly they are?  Bit by bit, I'm getting sick and tired of people making negative comments about other people's physical aspect because there are certain things we can just do nothing about.  So from now on, when someone refers to another person as ugly, I'm going to make my opinons felt.  If this pisses people off..well, tough crap! Can you imagine how you would feel if you overheard someone calling you ugly???? There are certain things that are better kept inside the confines of your own head, and don't need vocalising.

Rant over..

Tags: Cruelty Ugly



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Viewing 1 - 13 out of 13 Comments

From: heatherbrittany
04/02/2009 10:19:42
People who attack a stranger's appearance is doing it because they are insecure about their own appearance.  I do, however, think it's appropriate to refer to somebody's personality as ugly.  It sounds like your friend was being very ugly that night. 


From: Goldstar
04/02/2009 09:12:46
Tell you who I saw in the pub the other night, that ugly nerk Osama Bin Laden, he was sitting in the corner surreptitiously sipping a pint o' mild. I said to my mates, "hey, there's Bin Laden, lets go kick his ass", just as we got there there was a huge puff of smoke and he was gone, just like Willo The Wisp. True story that, honest, straight up.


From: Gemmell
04/02/2009 05:45:03
Good for you! Gotta love pearls of wisdom from wise old people, no matter what happens they always ring true..


From: SKapper
04/02/2009 04:10:41
I hear you there.  I'm not sure if this applies, but being who I am (looking the way I look, and having one arm) tests people character.  It repels the superficial and attracts the curious.  I dont think I've been referred to as ugly, having one arm, but I certainly dont use the term to describe people.  I think you cant tell a little about a person by the way they describe others who arent in ear-shot.

From: GingerNmytwo
04/01/2009 22:28:13

You're just an Angel, my friend. I whole heartedly agree and good job to YOU for standing up for the guy that didn't have the chance to do so himself.

ps, happy belated birthday! I'm so sorry I missed sending you a Bday greeting! 

From: zeus_god
04/01/2009 21:58:58
you cant always judge a book by its cover as you cant with a human being there
beautiful people out there with very ugly personalities as their are with
unatractive people whom are the nicest people you will meet its sad that some
idiots in society divide between the ugly groups and the good looking groups.if
anyone does not like someone for their looks then turn the other cheek


From: JuWells
04/01/2009 20:10:07

AMEN! That kind of behaviour is UGLY, and condescending, and
pathetic. Honestly, there's something seriously missing or wrong with
people who have to go out of their way to put others down, cuz
seriously: if you are fine and dandy and happpy with yourself, there's
no reason on EARTH that you would ever feel compelled to put someone
else down for any reason.

Especially a stranger. It's just so high and mighty and judgmental, it makes my skin crawl. It's one thing if someone you know annoys you in some way, it's quite another to judge someone else solely on your own arbitrary and cruel standards.

I'm having a similar reaction to the prevalent put-down in W.o.W.: "that's gay." It makes me SO mad! Gay is not an insult, it's not a bad thing.

But I digress, lol. I'm glad you jumped down her throat, kudos to you!



From: littleredhairedgirl
04/01/2009 19:14:12
i'm glad u called her out, society puts entirely too much emphasis on apperance it just makes for a judgemental world i'm curious as to what constitutes ugly, ive always thought its peoples actions that make them ugly, not their apperance


From: littlered
04/01/2009 17:36:14

I must admit I find that any kind of bitching, slandering, gossip and derogatory remarks profoundly upsetting and wearyingly wearing. I totally agree with you; making negative comments about a person, serves no purpose.  Really there are no ugly people, there are only ugly thoughts. And personally I think all ugly thoughts are a lie, as anything that comes as a obstacle in the way of happiness is not the truth for me. 

You are so correct, if you have nothing good  to say and you know first it will not be beneficial if spoken, then remain silent; watch first from where it comes from and in that you have blessed not only the other but yourself too.

Thankyou for shinning some light on a much needed subject. You express it so well,  and have brought up some good points. A good read. And your Grandma sounded like a good teacher and a blessing. 


 

From: misterincredible
04/01/2009 17:21:22


"Well said!" the ridiculously handsome Mr. Incredible declared.


From: Redei
04/01/2009 16:06:13

My oh my how true... it's the embodyment of hate.. the carelessness casual speech - the caviler judgement that wounds and in fact scars... I liken it to the awful word that has come to be like a slang here... people throw around the word "retarded" as if it was a momentary slip up... like "oh can't believe I forget to buy milk I'm so retarded"  it makes me aboslutely fkn nuts everytime I hear someome use that term - it's an "ugly" comparision of the hidden hate we hold within for each other... so sad and so amazingly cool that you spoke out - and stood for something real, and true and in everyones daily life no matter how they look - but how we all look (and treat) one another....    Missed you lots and lots and lots oh and lots... xoxox

From: bikerred
04/01/2009 15:57:58
You're a soul of light, its always nice to be nice.


From: ozred
04/01/2009 15:49:52
I have to agree and if you have nothing good to say about a person dont say anything at all in that respect.


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