I have to admit that I don't know "how" to date. I don't know what to do on dates. The choice is ALWAYS left up to me. :-( I don't know where we should go, or what we should do. You have to at least spend some time somewhere that you can talk, right? So at least the first date shouldn't be JUST a movie or the like. But what do you do for other dates? At what point is it considered to be "just hanging out" instead of going on dates? Isn't that when you get to the point of knowing each other well enough to just spend time at one or the other's home?
Here is one of the problems I have. I want to get to know the guy, talk, spend time together getting to know each other. The guy wants: to go to my house. About half ask to go to my house on the first date, and half wait until the second date. Is this a normal "man" request? Does this mean he wants to save money by not going out, or do they really expect to get lucky? I mean, if I want a one-night stand I can get one without the premise of a date or dinner, lol. I always state beforehand that I want a relationship. But, always, after the dinner or whatever the date was, it's the same thing...."Can't we go to your house?" (And what's wrong with HIS place anyway?)
I've dated a little since my divorce, but before that I hadn't dated since being a teen. Does any of this have to with "adult" dating as opposed to "teen" dating? Is it assumed that women my age have already had enough sex experience that we don't need to wait? What happen to romance? Is it dead? Someone please tell me that all men aren't this way, or I might as well remove myself from the dating sites and buy a dozen cat, a rocking chair, and and an afghan.
And, yes, I was niave enough in the beginning to allow some of my dates to my house before, and was rewarded with the guy always trying to remove all of my clothes, so I have since then assumed that if you let a guy over to your place, that is in guy language "I want to have sex with you". Not what I was thinking, but then I'm a woman, and I hadn't dated in many many, well at least several years. Now I know that not only are they not getting into my house, they aren't even picking me up there. I don't think it's a good idea for a women who lives alone to let a guy she doesn't know that well know where she lives...hindsight is 20/20....learned my lesson here. There was one who wouldn't leave (wasn't leaving until he got what he wanted) and I thought I was going to have to call 911. He would not get out of my house. It took hours and me going out the door saying I had somewhere to be. Then he decided even after that, it was ok to drive by to see if I was home to pay me another visit. HELP! Not going through any of that again.
So, in summary, I just wonder what is the right thing to do. Is there a how-to dating site for middle-aged women or something? Oh, and just for the smartmouths who can't help but to say something rude or put all the blame on me, there wasn't any leading-on, flirting, touching, etc. I did share a kiss with a few of the dates, but most asked to go to my house before there was even any contact, with the exception of a short, friendly hug (I thought).
Tags: Dating Relationships
