Everyone knows that there is no play for Mr. Gray. Or Mr. White. Mr. White shouldn't be confused with The Man, or Harvey Keitel in
Reservoir Dogs. My beard is turning white and I don't like it much, but because the men's hair color industry hates red heads, there isn't anything I can do about it. Damn Keith Hernandez' mustachioed soul. I am contemplating a change to black hair. I have had black hair before, and I tend to look angry all the time with the dark hair. Or maybe I was just in a pissed off mood for two months. Anyway, blond isn't really an option since dying red hair blond creates a nasty yellow/orange color that you won't find in the big ass box of crayons. If there were a crayon for that color it might be called "aged pus." So darker seems to be the only option. True, I could dye the stuff red, but unless you are into looking like Ronald McfuckingDonald, Tori Amos, or a Mexican Gangstress, red dye isn't a great choice. The anti-ginger conspiracy strikes again. If a redhead wants to dye his/her hair darker, they also must consider dying their eyebrows and (in my case) facial hair. I dyed my eyebrows the last time I went black (and for all you quick wits out there: yes, I did go back, thus disproving that axiom) and I looked like two melanistic caterpillars were sunbathing on my ever pale forehead. Seinfeld fans, remember when Elaine drew eyebrows on Uncle Leo with a Sharpie? There you have it. Ginger folk, we have got to do some procreating so that we can increase out market demographic, otherwise the hair color industry will continue to treat us like red headed step.... never mind. I am a red headed step child.
