THIS IS WHY PARENTS DRINK!!

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to
see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he
saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed
to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with
trembling hands
and read the let ter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Mom and
you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she
is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all
her piercing,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact t hat she
i s much older
& nbsp; than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad
she's
pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We
share a dream of
having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to
the fact that
marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with
the other people
that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a
cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better.

She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how
to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit
so that you ca n
get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son John
 PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Tommy's
house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things
in life than a
report card

That's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home