I've always been a big fan of the Crazy Chick (for lack of a better term) story. You know: Sybil, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, When Rabbit Howls, Three Faces of Eve, etc. I even liked Girl, Interrupted a little (the movie, that is, haven't read the book) even though I kinda detest Winona Ryder (she tends to be a bit boring, in my opinion).
So that being said, all the crazy chicks have something in common: when they go for therapy, they come to a point where they have to give up their psychosis, and take this huge leap of faith into the great "normal" unknown, and often they don't want to and they never
CAN,
at first, because the crazy is a security blanket and also seems to be what makes them, well, THEM. At least partially. The identity gets wrapped up in the disfunction.
Make sense?
I was thinking about this because people keep telling me to go to the doctor about my sleep problems, and well...maybe the sleep problems are what makes me ME. Or at least partially.
Don't get me wrong: if I could afford it, I WOULD go, in a heartbeat, even though said sleep probs are not physical, but all mental, trust me (brain starts swimming and does the butterfly and makes huge waves in the pool as soon as I lay down and the water gets up my nose and I can't sleep and boy howdy is that a weird metaphor).
But! If i no longer had sleep problems, who would I be? Some "normal" person who
can sleep when she's tired? Some well-adjusted working person who doesn't obsess over things outside her control and who keeps a normal sleep schedule?
Some angst-free flufferpuffer who doesn't worry about people she'll probably never meet?
Some chick
with a life who doesn't blog weird stream of consciousness stuff and doesn't paint all hours of the night until her finger literally bleeds and who and
isn't over-involved in the perfect online community (this one, duh)?
Sounds boring
(
Pretty much KIDDING, swear!)
Yeah, I'm thinking again, sorry
Tags: Musings Philosophy LIfe CRAZY
