We have two Labrador Retriever’s & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog (?).

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 120 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly the guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in the hospital because I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have to be carried out the door.